It sets in;
A flash of heat,
My burning feet.
And I run
To the sink
Before I faint.
This is the third time this week.
And I feel so close to death
With all my hopes and regrets
Laid out one by one.
And I’m getting tired of this.
Uncertainty when I hit.
It’s like a flash,
A spark,
Shot in the dark.
I only see stars.
It happens over and over again
You’d think I’d take the hint,
You’d think I’d be better for it.
But,
It’s like I’m sinking under water
With my feet on the ground.
It’s like I’m choking on nothing
But I can’t make a sound.
It’s like a rush I don’t think will ever end.
My heart is racing and it’s only just begun.
I’m taking steps.
I’m learning to better myself.
Instead of hurting just for the thrill.
I never felt so full.
I never felt so capable.
I always felt so miserable.
And I’d never make the call.
Because.
(Only just begun.
It’s only just begun)
I feel alive,
When I close my eyes
Just to pass time.
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